This has been a ridiculous 24 hours or so.

I am a ball of stress.

Some of the stress is external due to circumstances beyond my control.

Some is from a pure lack of self control these past couple of months.

I think I am starting to really see my role in it.

Seeing it is never enough, though, is it?

I haven’t been posting because I always assume no one wants to hear me.

Maybe I shouldn’t care.

Can I not care, share, and still be kind? 

Can I share the minutia of my life and maybe vent a little to help me on my own journey?

Is it selfish to share the burden or does misery truly love company?

(That saying, by the way, I love it. I always think of it as meaning when a miserable person has company they can be less miserable… and the miserable people can lighten the load of misery and everyone will be better off in the end together, making each other less miserable (Less Miserable is the less popular musical. Oh sure! Yup. It was off off off off off off off off Broadway. It never really found an audience, but I digress …), but I know it really means all the miserable people can be miserable together forever in their misery. How depressing! My way is much better! Plus, if you play your cards right there’s a shot at off off off off off off off off Broadway. So …)

Anyway, I guess I am having a bit of an epiphany (three months late, but whatever).

Maybe this space is really, actually, mine, and I should use it as I see fit regardless of what anyone thinks?

Hobby or not. It’s mine.

I should use it.

Maybe I will.

Maybe I’ll start tomorrow.

It’s only a day away.* 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Thing 2 had a Birthday last week. All she wanted was “Annie”. We watched it last night and I loved it. 

**Source

27 Comments on Oh, I’m Stressed!

  1. this space IS really, actually yours. always write with that in mind.

    hope your stress becomes less in the days/months to come! you are such a warm ray of sunshine to many so I hope you can cast some rays in your own direction!
    xo

    • You are right. It is. I shall do my best.

      I honestly think a GIANT melt of all the winter outside my window would help immensely.

      I need to get out into some sunshine and get walking again. There was just nowhere safe to walk -at all- and the treadmill (that isn’t really mine) doesn’t come close to the same elated feeling that an outside walk in the fresh air brings.

      Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean a lot. šŸ™‚

  2. There’s so much about blogging I could give up. The deadlines and the emails and the social sharing and the sponsorships and the stress of it. Do you know what I never ever could give up? Blogging. I don’t have much time these days to sit and write but i am constantly working out blog posts and mini essays in my mind as I go about my day.

    Let this place be you. Do you. Make it yours. It is yours. Be free here.

    Do you know I came to your blog lots while you weren’t blogging looking for a new post?? Xo

    • You are really something else. Thank you for making me feel heard.

      Honestly, not to be too hard on Mother Nature, but this winter totally sucked the good out of a lot of us. šŸ˜‰

      I agree with you on the blogging/writing front. I have 37 drafts, Laura. Not just blurbs and ideas, but honest to God posts that I just couldn’t seem to hit that “publish” button to share.

      Some even have memes and fun things I made.

      If it isn’t winter’s fault, it must be mine. Must do better! šŸ˜€

  3. Hey Peady!

    You know, blogging has been scientifically proven to be good for the soul*. Letting out some of the thoughts in one’s mind allows one to relax. OK, by “scientifically proven*”, I mean anecdotally. Based on my own writing. But. Still. The only way to relieve stress is to let some of it out…and writing is a good way. You can change the ending to the way you would like it to go. Make it about a “friend”. All kinds of crazy, good stuff.

    This is your blog. About whatever you want. You do what you need. I’ll be here to read, empathize, and comment. I’m sure others will too.

    Take care,
    PassageGal *hugs*

    • I like the way you provide scientific evidence to support your argument. That is really happy-making! šŸ˜€

      Thank you so much for your support and kind words!

  4. So glad you came and Posted, I was getting a tad stressed wondering where your posts were. See Stress fixed! Yes Misery loves company is the real deal. when you think of all the group therapy sessions going on in the medical and non medical community it is indeed true.

    • Aw, thanks! šŸ˜€ You are nice.

      You are right. I think that sometimes online connections serve as excellent therapy sessions!

      Thank you for reading.

  5. You know I care. I miss “hearing” you. Does stress ever really go away, or just ebb and flow like the tide? Keep writing. Selfish or not.

    • I do know that. Thank you. šŸ™‚

      Stress never goes away. I don’t need it to. Stress is a part of life. It *very much* ebbs and flows. Of course.

      I think it’s less the stress, more the compounded stress of mine and everyone else that affects me negatively. I am an empathetic person and therefore am like a sponge for other people’s worries.

      F’rinstance, here’s a crazy example for you to chew on. Last week a stranger told me he was having a medical procedure. I have never seen this person before and very likely will never see him again. I remember his name and I have been thinking about his health since. HIS! Not mine. His.

      That’s not the way it should be, but there you have it.

      So …

      I will keep writing. I will. I have thoughts. I know stuff. šŸ˜‰

      Thank you. I miss you!

    • You are right! I should. It’s not always easy.

      You know how some stresses or stories are not your news to tell? It’s *that* sometimes. So, I am careful to be respectful.

      Thanks for the encouragement!

      Onward!

    • You know what? You are absolutely right. It can be. Quite detrimental even.

      You’d think I’d remember the things I so readily and freely share with other people, eh? And yet … Doi!

      Thank you for reading. I really appreciate it! If you’re ever in the ‘hood, you better come see me! šŸ˜€

  6. I know what you mean. My blog space is more of an emotional dumping ground. But there are those of us out there that will always read. Including my fav Seinfeld scene doesn’t hurt.

    • Aww. Thank you. That was really nice of you to say.

      I think it’s really brave to dump emotions online. That takes real ovaries! šŸ˜€

      I love this scene so much! It’s perfect. You can *feel* Jerry acting. It’s palpable. This only serves to make it funnier!

      Any and every time I say, “Oh, I’m stressed!”, I am saying it exactly like that.

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting. It really means a lot.

  7. I always say that your blog is “you” – as in, it doesn’t have to be about anything or have any requirements, just whatever the hell you want for yourself. So keep on writing – and hope the stresses work themselves out soon.

    • I like that! That’s an excellent perspective.

      I will keep writing. I need to stop stopping. šŸ˜‰

      The stresses, at least the ones I can control, are being held at bay. For now that will do.

      Thank you so much for reading.

  8. I hear you. Husband was away for second week in a month last week and shit got real and I did NOT handle it well. And not blogging has a way of leading so easily into more not blogging. And then you’re like “well how do I start again? Do I just act all casual and pretend I was never away? Do I make a big re-entry speech? (I usually make a big re-entry speech). Has every said, oh good, she’s gone, she was such a drag? Also, my foot is injured so I can’t even use the effing treadmill right now. But this is supposed to be about you. You just dump whatever you feel like here. Someone will be here to find it pleasing and good.

    • Oh, man! That solo parenting thing is for the birds. The birds I tells ya!

      Part of my (most recent) stress was that my husband was supposed to be going away, but then a plane crashed and, well, that fixed everything so… wait.. WHAT?!?! No that didn’t fix anything. What *that* did was validate my worry. This is never a good thing. Actually neither of these things, plane crash and/or validating a worrier’s worry, are good. We are very, very, grateful that the crash was not worse and that people *mostly* are okay. We didn’t enjoy the spin of calling it a “hard landing, though. That was not cool at all.

      You are so right about the not blogging leading to more not blogging. An object at rest and all that jazz …

      We know people read our blogs. Very, very nice people. TENS of readers! We really need to respect their needs more. šŸ˜‰

      Thank you so much for your support. You give great advice! You are awesome and I love your writing.

  9. I’m so sorry to hear you are feeling the stress! Funny how this time of year seems to be that way. Hope you find a way to let that stress go, and keep the dessert part šŸ™‚

    • Aww. Thank you. That’s very sweet of you!

      Unfortunately, I think the d-e-s-s-e-r-t-s *might* be part of the problem. šŸ˜‰ *sigh*

      Oh well! I have to do whatever it is that makes me feel healthiest and that I am at my best, right? šŸ˜€

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting.

      Onward!

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