Let’s talk about sex, baby.

And by baby, I mean BABY!

Can it possibly be that my baby is ready to have the entire world of human sexuality laid out (Stop it. Be a grown up. Just for a few minutes. I beg of you!) in front of him to dissect and question and explore? Apparently, the answer to this question is yes. At least, according to our school board.

"The" Talk book

Oooh! So colourful and intriguing! No title. No one will even know what you are reading!

Education is a good thing. Don’t get me wrong. However, assuming that every kid is ready for the same information pertaining to sexuality at the same time is no different than painting them all with the same curriculum brush in any other subject. Not every kid will be ready to process this information. Not every tween will be curious. Not every prepubescent student will even have a single question. On the other hand, many will have questions. Many will already know plenty. Some will know too much and not for nice reasons. Some will be even less ready than others. This is definitely an area where a parental preemptive strike is a very good idea.

A very good place to start.

“What’s happening to me?” (Usborne)

We live in a very confusing world. On the one hand, sexuality is splayed on every billboard and commercial for kids to see and decipher through their developing brains. On the other hand, we hear pop songs where the word “sex” is literally censored out so a blank space is left. Dangling. Mysterious. Dangerous. Why? Why is this very basic thing left blank? You know not one of us would be here without it, right? I mean unless one of you has experienced immaculate conception and has withheld this info, in which case I am, a) ticked off that you didn’t share, and b) I have questions, so don’t leave without seeing me. Poor Bruno Mars! He has been censored in the weirdest of ways. He has also had the phrase “throw my hand in my pants” censored and I swear to you as if I were there when he wrote it, he meant it in that “cozy” way. (You know, like Paul Buchman explained in that episode of Mad About You? Remember? No? Okay, you are just going to have to trust me. Not in some lewd reference to making himself “extra” happy, but I was not there, and I digress…)

The point is, that even if kids are sprinkled all along the developmental continuum – here, there and everywhere – in the end it is probably best that schools cover the topic of sexuality and all that it entails. There are plenty of parents who shockingly -even in this day and age- never talk about sex, sexual development, puberty, or sexuality. My poor Things. They have parents who are pretty much impervious to embarrassment. Sure, we may blush at a compliment or a funny jab, but when it comes to the topic of sex and the well being of our children we have nerves of steel. We will not be swayed. We are “the” source for “the” talk and I, quite frankly, wouldn’t have it any other way.

My tween might not have had any questions last week, but he certainly does now!

This is where Thing 1 is: “If you talk about it, that’s Oral Sex and now everyone is having it!” Direct quote from last night. Seriously.

So, we, the parents, have some explaining to do. Obviously.

Now, do you have any questions? If so, you ought to brush up on your human sexuality because, like it or not, the day will come when your little babies will be physiologically capable of creating little babies of their own. Wouldn’t you rather they are well equipped to handle that? Me, too!

About Peadyhttp://temperedwithkindness.comI’m sensitive and I’d like to stay that way.

37 thoughts on “Let’s talk about sex, baby.

  1. Agreed! Though I’m burying my head in the sand for a few more years before I need to start having those conversations. 🙂

    But the “oral sex” line did make me laugh out loud….

    Great post.

    • Thank you so much for your comment and compliment! I appreciate both. 🙂

      I swear that was a direct quote. He was so very confused by this book. He is an avid reader, so when a teacher says “read until you have a question” he just read the whole thing! I would have liked to have a copy for myself first.

      • Oh, for sure! We have access to the publications. I was talking to Thing 1 about this again this morning (it’s a hot topic) and he feels very happy that we have the Usborne books. He also agrees talking about it with parents is best – even when it is a bit embarrassing or overwhelming.

        I asked him how many kids, in his best estimate, shared the material with their parents.. he figures none. 🙂 This speaks volumes. If a letter had been sent home (e-mail, updated unit info via website) more parents could be in the know!

      • Not us. In sixth grade we did. Sixth grade awesome teacher also had RN co-presenter, but to be fair that was a one week (or so) long unit.

  2. Favouriting this. I have the “What’s Happening to My Body” book for boys and when it arrived from Amazon my sons asked about it. I started to explain, changes, etc., and they were like “I KNOW what the book is about, Mom. It’s in Diary of a Wimpy Kid! But why did YOU buy it?” Oh. OH and also my older son asked me the other night – when the news was on – what “sex” means and I stumbled a little and started talking about babies and he was like “So that girl is having a baby?” and I realized that he was referring to a news story about sexual assault and some creepy 37 year old who was arrested for luring young girls on line and then having sex with them. WHOLE OTHER TOPIC. What I’m saying is, yes. CONFUSING TIMES INDEED.

    • EXACTLY! We have to be prepared to bring our A game. Ready or not, we must. 😀

      I have a son and a daughter, but if it was just Thing 1 here I would *still* have BOTH books on hand. They need to know everything, eventually. It’s easier to bridge that gap/mystery when the books are commonplace. 😉

      Thank you so much for reading!

  3. Same here. My son was not at the same place as some of his friends when the topics began being spoken about. But then, we have very open discussions so my husband and I could gauge when he was ready for more information.

    • I think this is a pretty common theme because our kids are truly individuals, right?

      In our case it is being taught in school and we have no choice, really, but to continue the preemptive strike in hopes of limiting fear and confusion. That bright colourful book has some pretty dark subject matter – for any kid – let alone a very young 12.

      Thank you so much for reading! It means a lot to me.

      • And really.. what would that teach them? For us, we are in this thing together. Always have been. Always will be.

        I think the opt out would be applicable for some families based on religious beliefs, etc.

      • Exactly. It’s really great to know your kids, but for the oblivious among us, it’s good to know that the kids will have a sound (truthful) introduction to sexuality education.

  4. Knowing what I know and knowing who I know, I simply say May the force be with you. It’s important for sure but not always easy. Such a ticklish issue with it coming from school. Assumptions are made far too often that our kids have had exposure to things that are not even close to being on their radar yet. My hope is that the info is delivered sensitively by someone with specific training.

    • Consensus is that the material is way over the heads of most of the seventh graders. Wait until you see “the” book.

      I think at the very least a letter should have been sent home. I am confident that the teacher handling it will do a good job and have been in touch. It is what it is, though.

      Radar here includes, but is not limited to, Lego, Harry Potter, snowmen, cookies. You get my point. I’m sure.

    • Right!?!

      I am so thankful we started so long ago with the Usborne books. Just the right amount of real life dosed out perfectly. I love Usborne. Meanwhile, the NS issue “the talk” books are well done – when kids are ready – they make no bones about it. Plain truth for all.

  5. Uh oh! Does this mean I’m having “oral sex” now too! (That’s awesome).

    I am not nearly ready to realize that I had babies who will (someday) be able to have their own babies……. Deep breaths (and not the dirty kind, the calming kind).

    • Yes. Can you imagine how confusing that would be to a kiddo with processing issues?

      So we are walking the talk! Got a question? *I* have an answer. An open and honest one to whatever question comes up!

      Like it or not those sweet babies will be adolescents before *you* are ready, so get ready now! 😀

  6. Enjoying your blog very much. I am intrigued, now, with these specific Usborne books. I will make a note to look into them.

    I for one do not agree with the schools giving my child information upon this subject. I certainly remember the shock and horror I felt when a woman from Planned Parenthood (don’t even get me started) gave a talk to our class. It felt more like we were getting a license to drive, if you know what I mean. For a shy child fresh out of Catholic school and into the public school scene for the first time it was crippling.

    No way will they be educating my children!

    • I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, It is always a good thing to know your child best.

      The first conversations about any sensitive topic should always come from home, of course, but then there are the kiddos with not much of a “home” support, so I guess something from school is better than absolutely nothing at all from “home” in that case.

      I am sticking with my pre-emptive strike policy. 😉

      I believe you will like the Usborne books.

      Thank you *so* much for visiting and reading and commenting! It means so much to me!

    • I love these books, but bare in mind the “the talk” book the school board is using is pretty advanced and it’s what’s being used in school so I really am happy for our “preemptive strike” approach. We’ve had the Usborne books for a long time now. 😀

      Thanks for visiting and commenting! You reminded me there was an updated link I wanted to add to this post.

  7. Great Post. I always found simple truthful answers worked best. We also talked about respect as well as function. So glad we used correct names for body parts right from the beginning. 🙂

    I think kids having knowledge before the health class and book is the best. Remembering learning about “it” in front of a classroom of goofy kids all a little freaked and embarrassed still makes me blush.

    • Thank you! You are so right. It starts when they are soooo teeny tiny and you just let the conversation grow up along with the kids. It works!

      Amen on the body parts! I just don’t understand the people who don’t teach that – or who don’t use the words themselves. This is where shame begins, you know? Who *does* that?!? Like ugh! It’s a part. Eye, nose, arm, penis, foot, elbow. No shock when it’s just a part of the normal mix, right? Diffuse. Normalize. Protect. 😀 It’s my philosophy!

      There was a film in grade 10 – or 11, even! Umm.. sorry… way too late by then.

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting. You made my face go all –> 😀

  8. Pingback: Precocious Puberty?! - Forever In Mom Genes

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