This has been a ridiculous 24 hours or so.
I am a ball of stress.
Some of the stress is external due to circumstances beyond my control.
Some is from a pure lack of self control these past couple of months.
I think I am starting to really see my role in it.
Seeing it is never enough, though, is it?
I haven’t been posting because I always assume no one wants to hear me.
Maybe I shouldn’t care.
Can I not care, share, and still be kind?
Can I share the minutia of my life and maybe vent a little to help me on my own journey?
Is it selfish to share the burden or does misery truly love company?
(That saying, by the way, I love it. I always think of it as meaning when a miserable person has company they can be less miserable… and the miserable people can lighten the load of misery and everyone will be better off in the end together, making each other less miserable (Less Miserable is the less popular musical. Oh sure! Yup. It was off off off off off off off off Broadway. It never really found an audience, but I digress …), but I know it really means all the miserable people can be miserable together forever in their misery. How depressing! My way is much better! Plus, if you play your cards right there’s a shot at off off off off off off off off Broadway. So …)
Anyway, I guess I am having a bit of an epiphany (three months late, but whatever).
Maybe this space is really, actually, mine, and I should use it as I see fit regardless of what anyone thinks?
Hobby or not. It’s mine.
I should use it.
Maybe I will.
Maybe I’ll start tomorrow.
It’s only a day away.*
*Thing 2 had a Birthday last week. All she wanted was “Annie”. We watched it last night and I loved it.