One Step Forward And Two Steps Back. (Or My Life In Glacier Parenting)

glacier parenting ice cold falling apart force

I had no intention of blogging tonight. (Well not here at least.)

I’d really rather be doing something else. (Eating chocolate, mostly.)

However, here I am. (Hi! Fancy meeting you here!)

I have a PSA*. (Pullleeeease STOP Arguing!)

Today, while sunny and nice outside, has been ridiculous.

There were homework woes that have not been displayed so outwardly in years.

I forgot how trying it could be.

Well, no. Not quite forgotten. I will never forget the struggles we have gone through.

It is more like I had hoped a milestone had been passed for good, but clearly no, that is not the case.

Life, is not really well known for being so simple, is it?

The frustration of feeling your child’s frustration is awful. I swear to you that I know this kid better than he knows himself. I know the way he is feeling. I know that I do. They are his feelings, though, so he must feel them. I try my best to help him help himself. I encourage. I monitor. I remind. I know.

I do all these things and yet I end up feeling like the enemy. I can do and I can know all these things, but I cannot experience his life. I cannot live it. I can’t make him understand these things anymore than someone could understand them for me. And you know what? That really stinks!

How frustrating for the frustrated to not understand that I understand.

It gets a bit tangled right about there. Hands tied. Deep breaths. Bite tongue. Walk away. Just for a little while. A minute or two. Go have some water. Figure out dinner. Make a plan. Check on his little sister. Let cooler heads prevail.

I am not a fan of all this sadness. It is draining.

I am totally exhausted right now. I feel like my day has been stolen. Everyone’s has. Everyone’s.

Not the way I prefer to end a week. Or start a week. What is Sunday? Is it the end or the beginning? I am too tired to choose. Does it even matter? (Now I have Semisonic’s “Closing Time” running through my head. You know? “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”)

It would be worse to maybe never feel it though. My empathy, I must believe, is a strength.

And yet.

Hoo boy! This day.

It feels like the Toddler phase is never-ending ’round here.

Alas, feelings are not facts. I say it. I believe it. I must apply it to myself.

Sorry if I scared the bajoopees out of those of you currently parenting Toddlers, earlier.

It really does get better. I promise. It does.

It’s just that, for me, today, I felt like all the steps forward were being outnumbered by all the steps back.

*Go ahead, fire away with all the things PSA could stand for. I meant Public Service Announcement, but I admit some pretty funny not so PG words also popped into my head. Meh. At least my sense of humour is still intact**.

**Full disclosure: It was hanging by a thread not too long ago and quite frankly is still a bit iffy***.

***When Thing 1 was teeny, he used to say “Iffy Daisy!” instead of “Oopsie Daisy!”, which was something we said a lot. Mostly, because we had a teeny Thing 1 who was busy dropping and spilling things.

About Peadyhttp://temperedwithkindness.comI’m sensitive and I’d like to stay that way.

10 thoughts on “One Step Forward And Two Steps Back. (Or My Life In Glacier Parenting)

  1. We also had an eldest and middlest frustrating day. We are dealing with rudeness and plagerism and tormenting. Not fun and very frustrating. We all seem to be very good at loosing our cool. We gave up on productivity and went for a neighborhood bike ride! It does get better doesn’t it! The frustrations seem to be growing ever slowly further apart.

    • Going outside to play is about the best remedy I can think of for almost anything.

      It might seem illogical to “treat” kiddos to play, especially in the middle of a totally grump fest, but when it works so well who the heck cares if it is logical? Also, if it works time and time and time again – I think it *is* the logical thing to do! πŸ˜€

      Thank you for your comment. It made me feel better and I agree about the growing further apart. No matter how slowly, that is progress. πŸ™‚

  2. Oh do I hear you! Loud and clear. I literally used the one step forward two steps back comment on Friday. We’ve not had a great morning thus far either. Child is showering etc., and I’ve decided to use the time to focus on good days minus bad days. Far more good! It’s a long and winding Rd but it’s Monday and we need to refocus and hope for the best!
    Deep breaths Mamma!

    • Some days are like this.

      Even in Australia. πŸ˜‰

      I am always so grateful for the good days and as the years go by there are more and more of those. I was thrown for a wee loop. Out of practice with the big upsets – which in and of itself is fabulous, if you really think about it.

      It’s been smooth sailing since. Some lessons need to be learned the hard way – for parents and kiddos. πŸ™‚

      Thank you so much for your support. It is much appreciated.

  3. this was really well written. But I’m sorry you were struggling and that he was struggling. Parenting is hard. I’m glad you shared it though because it is hard for everyone and I know this will make others feel less alone. Xo

    • Thank you. Your comment gave me a very nice boost this morning. I really appreciate that.

      It’s hard. Some days are harder than others. When you have a string of very, good days, it is so wonderful. You kind of get a bit duped into thinking the hard days have passed.

      It’s true what I said though. I am glad I am empathetic. That I “get” it. I wouldn’t trade my exhaustion for a different life.

      Well, not now that I have slept and had a decent day, anyway. πŸ˜‰

  4. You know I deal with the same issues and there have been many ups, and downs. Most of the ups don’t involve school and most of the downs do. I feel anxiety daily about the future. I understand…

  5. Empathy is a strength for sure. I hope today has gone better. As I was reading this it occurred to me that I don’t know how old your ‘Things’ are. Older than my kids. Homework is part of our life but not that much of it yet. We have peaked into the difficulties we will likely have. Thanks for sharing.

    • Thank you. I think so, too.

      Oh, nothing looks the same in the light. Thank goodness! πŸ™‚

      It was a much better day and (of course) the kiddo in question felt accomplished – if exhausted. πŸ˜‰

      Every kiddo is different. Every school year is different. Some years are for teaching and some years are for learning. πŸ˜€

      Thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate it very much.

I just love comments. Comments are my favourite!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.