WE WERE ON A BREAK! (and it was a BIG mistake)

This was 15 weeks ago.

I was elated. Happy. Proud.

I was Icharus.

Dammit.

What the hell was I thinking?

I am not the kind of person who can stop a thing. I am the kind of person who, in order to be healthy and happy, needs to follow through every single day.

I know I am not alone, but I am embarrassed and sad that I flew too close to the sun.

On the upside Wax Wing soup is scrumptious!

Okay. Okay. I didn’t actually eat Wax Wings à la Icharus, but it is one of the very few things I did not eat over the summer.

I planned to loosen the reins a bit and maybe adapt to an 80/20 approach (which works really well, by the way), but then I heard the ice cream call my name … and it was summer … and it was Friday … and we were on vacation … and when would we be all together in this place again?

And … and … and …

You can see where this is going right?

I’ll just wait here for your eye rolls to stop and your judgement to wash over me.

I KNOW! I know better. I know. It’s true. I do.

sigh

So now what?

Well, for one I am not starting all over again, so yay me. Secondly, I didn’t quite throw the baby out with the bathwater. I know what works and I know what makes me happy and guess what, people? It is not ice cream. (or potato chips) (Hmm. What’s that? I didn’t mention the potato chips? Gee. I was sure I did. looks down and kicks invisible pebbles)

As it turns out, I feel so much better–mind, body, spirit, soul, mood, attitude–when I stick to eating a variety of yummy foods (including a few sweet treats) that are gluten free (this is old news) and also mostly dairy free, corn free, and devoid of sugar. Oh yeah … just one more thing … coffee. Yup. Coffee is on the chopping block.

It sounds like a lot, doesn’t it? I know.

This is partly why (and how) I allowed myself to be stopped.

I am not proud of it, but I am honest, so I will tell you what happened–I let people, who (mostly) do not matter, get in my head.

How sad is that? How silly? How ridiculous? How ludicrous?

How sad.

I literally know hundreds of people who exercise, eat, live, and share their journeys to wellness. There are so many different ways to find what works for you as an individual and I know as well as anyone that it should not matter what anyone else does or says or promotes or buys or endorses.

Yet here we are.

I allowed doubt and fear and alright, maybe a bit of defiance and self-sabotage, thwart me and my efforts.

It isn’t the first time.

When I first went gluten free (or even low carb, waaaaay back when–remember “Protein Power” by the Drs. Eades?–you see.. I was onto something then, too!) I felt so much better, but I let the opinions of others convince me that that couldn’t possibly be what was wrong. I was just fat and Lord knows fat trumps all when it comes to feeling like hammered poo. Amirite? (I know for a fact that if any of you reading this have now or have at any time carried extra fat on your body you know exactly what I am talking about. Every medical anything. Every ache or pain. Each headache or tummy trouble. Anytime the baby nurse takes out the “fat” BP cuff to use on your happily pregnant arm–for God’s sake! Just stop that. Let the Mamma be happy for a half a minute, will ya?!?–the looks, the digging questions, the judgement. All cause a huge heaping helping of self doubt.

Really. Is it any wonder I (I just typed “we”, but this is on me, so here I stand, heart in hand!) doubt myself when for so long clearly any and all of my issues were essentially my fault and my fault alone?

Right?

Right?!?

excuse me for a minute while I take a few deep breaths and go to my happy place

Wrong. Humans are complex creatures and sometimes we carry burdens that we did not create, that we were never meant to carry. For some of us, that burden happens to be visible. When I have the wherewithal to have a sense of humour about it I think of it as my fat suit of armour. I know the truth.

Anyhoo …

Where was I? Oh, yeah. Be nice to people! If someone is doing something and they seem happy and excited or slightly anxious and excited (ANXCITED!) and they are brave enough or trusting enough to share that with you or be open publicly about it, support them. Ask if they are happy about it. Encourage them to go for it. Maybe check in now and then in a non-judge-y way and see how it’s going.

I don’t know.

All I do know is that when I am having doubts and someone swoops in to immediately say the worst of the stuff I am thinking about me (or it or whatever) or point out how difficult a thing is or how they could never give up x, y, z … well, let me get straight to the point (HAH! Have you met me?!) it isn’t helpful. Not even a little bit.

No one really wants to suffer for their art-or for their heart!

So, what is this all about?

Well, to sum up, be nice to people, not just nice–kind. Think before you speak. Certainly, be careful with your say-it-right-out-loud words. Listen more. Pay attention to what you are thinking. Maybe do a double check now and then when you think you have that internally screaming thought and/or eye roll under wraps, and make sure it isn’t written all over your face.

Mind you, if that’s 100% you, by all means, you be you. That is important.

You’ll understand, of course, when I don my eye roll deflector.

Oh, just one more thing–my break is over!

My Word for 2019. Or … ACTION – I Wanna Live!

ACTION, word of the year, my word for 2019, Happy New Year, Peady Powers ENGAGE, intention, intentions, will, do it, never mistake motion for action

Never mistake motion for action. ~ Ernest Hemingway

Full disclosure: I started this post on January 2nd (though it is currently January 4th) and because this is my blog I can change the date to January 2, so I did. Why? Well, the reason is twofold. a) See the aforementioned “MY blog” 🤓 and b) because I want to have a post for everyday this month and since I have been writing, starting something new, trying to learn a couple of new things, busy with back to school after a big break stuff, reading actual books, and if I may be frank, actually DOING things, I figured it was okay. Okay? Are we cool? Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool. 

In case you haven’t figured it out yet or didn’t see my official announcement on Instagram as I was ringing in the New Year (Are you not following me there? Why not?! I am pretty fun. Go follow me now. It’s okay. I’ll wait right here.) I have decided to choose another word for 2019. I chose two in 2018 and you know what? I never did make it back here to write about them, but I did take them to heart and I think they were helpful.

Last year’s words were “Focus & Flourish” (written just like that) and I would write them down in places I knew I would be glancing throughout the day. My awesome kitchen chalkboard frame thing? Oh yeah! It was totally written there. It stayed there for a good long time, too. I really needed the reminder.  It isn’t that anything magical happened, but in a way a lot of great things happened. They may have been tricky to see through a pretty big dose of ick, but if I am being objective (and I am) there were many fun, nice, practical, and people-centric things that happened last year, in real life, that were good.

So, in the interest of putting my new word to good use right off the bat, I give you my word for 2019. Ta daa!

ACTION, word of the year, DIY chalkboard photo frame, chalk, just do it, 2019, Happy New Year, New Year's resolutions, resolutions, intention, set an intention, good intentions, will

So …

Do you choose a word for the year? Something to help you focus on a goal or a more mindful way of living? I’d love to hear about it.

Feel free to share your word and your reasons for choosing it in the comments. (I love comments! AND! I love responding to them because I know what a rare treat they can be and I understand that commenters are choosing to spend their time here with me. I like being heard and I like letting others know they have been heard. It matters. You matter. Thank you for commenting.)

 

 

 

 

Fuller disclosure: It is now Saturday and I am about to hit publish. The post will still have a date  of January 2, 2019. C’est la vie! 

Credit where credit is due: Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash

Motivation Monday {Silly Saves Me Edition}

It will come as a surprise to no one that I have been having a bit of trouble feeling motivated lately, but this morning I am feeling determined to be the one in control of my feelings – and some other stuff, too. Motivation has come home and, much like the prodigal son, I will embrace it and feed it and give it its old room back, and cherish it like never before in hopes that my appreciation for its return will have some big returns for me! Yay, motivation!This is how I operate apparently, so I had better learn to live with it*, right?I am not leaving this laptop without hitting publish. (Because motivation makes me make promises to myself and motivation also makes me keep those promises. Isn’t motivation rad, you guys?)This will be an extremely short post, but I feel like I am in a rip-the-band-aid-off sit’i’ation and I just have to hit publish. This will hurt me more than it will hurt you. Believe me.My point is, I have so much to say and so many ideas and they have just been stagnating, or being forgotten – because of course I won’t remember that great post idea if I don’t have a pen (mine!) and paper (also, mine!) to write it down in a way that will make sense to me at a later more convenient time! I am busy, distracted, worried for the world. Kids come with outside obligations that require my attention. I have to make dinner. I haven’t had coffee yet… You know? ALL the things that everyone faces pretty much every day and somehow manages to live with.Yeah. When the normal stuff of life gets in the way of happy-go-lucky  I am not – wait for it – happy-go-lucky! I do not like that.So I am fixing it little by little and right about now, just after I rip off this bandaid, I will have fixed it just a little bit more. Thank you for your patience and sense of humour. I am happy you stuck around.My tens of readers are actually extremely important to me. I appreciate you.So, while I work out the rest of my day, this week, this month, an editorial calendar that will bring me back here more often, and my entire life going forward**, I will leave you with this beautiful motivational quote.

You can tell it is inspirational*** because it is a nature photo and there are words on it.

That’s all it takes, right? 😉

How are you holding up? No really. I’m asking. How’s your motivation these days? I know I am not the only one who feels the way I do.

What do you do every day, week or month to keep your motivation revved up? What do you do to spark it if ever it drops?

You should know that Thing 2 just walked in my room *juuuust as I started that second sentence with pen (mine!) and paper (math test) saying, “Sign.”. I replied, “You’re interrupting me.” and explained further, “If you enter my room and see me very obviously trying to do something with this (points to face) look on my face, please do not make demands. Leave your things for now and I’ll sign them momentarily, but going forward this is not ok.”

So, I’d like my adulting sticker and a gold star, now, please and thank you.

**No pressure.

***Source: Deviant Art.****

****Full disclosure! Inspiration for this inspiration: A silly, yet completely honest, conversation on Saturday with a dear friend wherein I succinctly ahem nailed my annoyance with certain habits of certain online presences.

 

Author! Author!

author life direction choices beginning end chapter

Do you believe this? Are you the author of your life? Am the author of mine?

I love my sign. I really do. I want to believe what it tells me.

It hangs above my desk in the corner of our bedroom where I have tried to carve out a small space to call my own and in which I try to work.

Currently my desk is covered in piles. It is ridiculous. It is barely visible.

I guess it is time for me to end this chapter and decide how the new one begins.

Do you have anything motivational in your work space?

Is it working?

NaBloPoMo Deficit (Or I Intend To Finish What I Started)

intention picasso quote doing vs. intention

I am missing 11** days of posts out of the 28 days that November has had, so far.

Am I flipping out? Nope.

Do I care? Yes. Of course. I always care.

Am I in knots like I would have been last year? No way! Life is way too short to be in knots over a fictitious deadline of questionable importance.

What am I planning to do with this knowledge?

That is a good question. I am not quite sure what to do.

Should I try and scrounge up the energy and words to post a decent thing for the missing days?

Should I just brush it off and move on?

Can I find a compromise that makes me feel decent about participating in NaBloPoMo again this year? I am honestly not sure.

It is always good to challenge oneself. Of that, I am sure.

I suppose I am just not sure exactly what my goal, beyond 30 posts in 30 days, is – or was.

Last year it was a challenge that I felt I couldn’t possibly complete and, yet, I did.

This year, I knew I could do it and I was pretty sure I would, but here I am on November 28th trying to figure out what to do.

Mostly, I have written elsewhere. Other things for other people.

That is a really cool turn of events that might never have happened if I didn’t start writing a little bit here.

Can.

Will.

Did.

They are interesting words, aren’t they?

I guess what I am saying is that when the intention is clear the accomplishment often seems clearly attainable. The opposite is also true. I think I may have proven that this time.

Maybe the trick is to set a clear intention, no matter the task, in order to reach one’s goals.

Why then, does this not work in all the things I intend to do?

What am I missing?

Are my intentions not good enough? Are they not focussed enough?

Is there something pertinent I am overlooking?

Am I paving a road to H-E- double hockey sticks?

For example, take my weight. No really. Take my weight, please. Ba doom tsh!

Why can’t I intend it away? Wouldn’t that be something!? I wish I could. I really do.

Alas, wishing won’t make it so.

sigh

I am tired of it and I intend to do something about it.

I won’t be coming back here to whine about it. I promise. It’s just that I think I believe that a written intention has more power than one I secretly wish inside my head.

Just like I am fairly certain one spoken out loud is more powerful than one written.

Although, I am sure it depends on the person and the intention.

For instance, last Friday we went to see The Vinyl Cafe Christmas Show at the Scotiabank Centre, here, in Halifax. As many of you know by now, Stuart McLean cancelled the remainder of the tour because he has been diagnosed with cancer and was strongly encouraged to begin treatment right away. What many of you may not know is that the show ended with a “Hey Jude” send off and after the “Na na na nanana naaa nanana naaa” part we didn’t sing the words “hey Jude”. No. Instead, we were all singing “Next year” in place of “hey Jude”. We didn’t know Stuart McLean was ill. We did know that he was in fine form, that we were thoroughly entertained, and that we absolutely wanted the Vinyl Cafe Christmas Show to come back to Halifax next year. We wanted Stuart McLean to come back next year.

The phrase “next year” in and of itself isn’t all that special. In fact, it might be seen as a mostly innocuous or even negative thing. Kind of like the elusive “someday” we often utter when making plans to travel to an exotic location or treat ourselves to a fancy something-or-other.

But I am telling you, last Friday night in the Scotiabank Place the phrase “next year” was most definitely an intention. I felt it then and there as I sang it.

It was confirmed on Saturday when I read the news.

So, here’s hoping there’s something to all this intention stuff because I have things I want to do and seeing Stuart McLean is most definitely on my list.

So, tell me, do you believe in intentions?

Do you have a word you focus on to help you get through your year?

Do you set an intention?

How do you make your intentions a reality?

**And you can bet your britches I just changed that to 10.

Source

 

Wordless Wednesday: Advice From A Children’s Book Edition

15 Things In 15 Minutes (and not a minute more)

15 in 15 fifteen minutes

It’s 11: 44 and I have to hit publish by 11:59.

Here goes!

I am exhausted.

We were away for the weekend and with the exception of one thing I simply couldn’t get done most of the things that needed doing were completed.

We didn’t turn the radio on for the entire drive to New Brunswick.

We arrived in the dark on Friday.

We managed to take advantage of not one, but two BOGO Starbucks Holiday beverages. Oh yes! Today there was a Peppermint Mocha and there may or may not have been a Cranberry Bliss Bar. Who’s to say? It’s a mystery, really.

The Things were thrilled to spend some time with their cousins this afternoon.

We celebrated a special Birthday today!

We were extremely entertained by our nephew and his mad candle lighting skills, but we especially appreciated his Dad stepping in to really get the show started. (Have you ever seen a musical candle that blossoms with fire and sparklers? We have!)

I think our gift was a hit (though who can ever be sure, really?).

We were treated to an amazing feast of Persian food and I really would like to learn to cook all the Persian things right now.

We left for home in the dark tonight.

It was completely and utterly pitch black out. No stars to be seen, yet the cold night air was crisp and seemed to make the visibility better than usual. There was no haze or fog at all. Unheard of!

We made it home in record time because all the traffic seemed to be going with the flow in the same direction as us and there was nary a dingbat on the highway the whole way home.

Thing 1 managed to study for a science test and upload a video to YouTube after we arrived home. (Motivation is a wonderful thing.)

Thing 2 didn’t get to share her violin playing with her Nanny, even though she made a point of bringing both her violin and her music with her all the way to Moncton. (She will just have to book some time in December. Maybe by then she will have a Christmas carol in her repertoire.)

C’est tout!

Goodnight!

Source

 

We Will Be Invincible

a_stone-1

I choose to focus on the future and the potential of a world filled with people who are problem solvers.

In our family it is important for us to teach our children not to live in what we call the “Problem Domain”.

Yes. Life can be difficult.

Yes. The news of the world can bring you to your knees.

Yes. Sometimes you will feel scared.

Yes. Sometimes you will feel lonely.

Yes. Sometimes you will not know what you are supposed to do.

It is at precisely these times that you must dig deep, listen to your little voice, and figure out what you should do.

Know that you do have what it takes to get out of your particular situation.

Know that you are loved.

Know that you are trusted.

Know that you have people pulling for you.

Know that whatever the absolute worst thing in the world is (to you) right now, that it will not be forever.

When you bring a problem to someone, believe there is a solution.

Maybe have a few in mind, if and when you feel that is appropriate.

Move beyond that problem domain and realize that the more you begin to move your mind outside of the problem, the more you will actually begin to feel like maybe it isn’t so insurmountable, after all.

You are smart.

You are curious.

You are loved.

You are caring.

You are kind.

Whether or not you happen know it right now.

You are invincible.

Source.

Pretty Much

This*.

calvin-and-hobbes-procrastination

Goodnight!

*At least I posted something. Semantics. FTW!**

**IOU 1 blog post of substance.***

*** If I write 2 tomorrow, will that do?****

**** That just made me think of Wimpy’s, “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today!”

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Sometimes You Should Just Do It Anyway

98834-Do-It-For-Yourself-Not-For-Them
I decided against posting a blog every single day for the month of June.

The timing just isn’t right.

Besides, I already did it in November and that seems a better time for such insanity. (It was no easy task, I assure you.)

There’s no reason to put that pressure on myself. Silly! I actually stopped for a second and thought about what I would do. I contemplated all the last minute stress it can cause when I already have a busy schedule. Then, like a grown up, (Who am I?!?) I told myself no.

It’s very freeing to say no – even to yourself. Try it.

I did it again last night, actually. I was peckish after dinner and  – even though dinner was delicious – I went in search of a little something sweet. You know how it is.

Anyway, I got halfway there (I’ll just wait here while you finish belting out the lyric and I told myself to do the right thing.

Me: Do the right thing.

Me: But we need something sweet.

Me: Listen, no one needs something sweet.

Me: Shadap!!!

Me: * stern look *

Me: But

Me: * raised eyebrow and head tilt of righteousness *

Me: * glance towards the cupboard of sin *

Me: You bought some yummy good-for-you Greek yogurt today. 100 calories. Good protein. Not too sweet.

Me: FINE! * mumbles “I hate it when I’m right.” under breath *

Sometimes I adult very well.

Speaking of doing things that are good for me (and you) I will be going for a short walk in a few minutes and as luck would have it one of my favourite radio stations played one of my favourite songs, “The Walker” by Fitz and The Tantrums. I think it’s a great walking song, actually. It’s an excellent tempo and it’s also (if you take it literally) about walking so it’s a fun fit for getting fit!

I had never seen the video and I have been wanting to post a song* so I went to YouTube to find it. I like it!

So, here it is!

Do you use music for motivation?

What song gets you up and running?

If you were to make a playlist for a 20 minute daily walk, what songs would absolutely make the cut?

*In fact, I was just talking about song posts yesterday with a friend. I hope she sees this! It made me think of her and her work in the online world and the lyric “can’t keep up with my rhythm, though they keep trying” brought her to mind because she is faster than the speed of light!

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